dear Stef

Just letting you know that I am thinking about you.

Have had this horrible, draining flu thing for too long now. It's just totally taken everything out of me. Combined with so much growing and constantness from life :: kids, my sewing/crafting, etc...etc....

I am currently planning to do a market stall next Friday night. This is so exciting, and scary for me. I don't have anything to sell as of yet. I spent yesterday on my own, for almost five hours of sewing. I'm so slow at sewing, and didn't achieve much. But I got a start on it.

I've been sewing some little zippered purses, and some pillow cases (for us and gifts so far). I've been thinking of sewing some free-machine stitching on lovely fabric, and making placemats and coasters. That should be easy - but will people buy them?

I really love this sewing/crafting thing. For me. I love the thought process of choosing the fabrics. I'm quite surprised at some of the combinations I pick out. Sometimes so pink. Sometimes I think a bit predicable - but maybe not, maybe just obvious to me.

I think this flu thing, the cotton wool in my head is making me think and look at things a bit differently. You know when you just sort of go along with the flow of the day - following the kids, sort of on automatic. You just have to do, and can't even think through things properly. But, sometimes it's a really great way to just do things. To not stop and analyse everything, but just to keep moving forward - towards something :: anything! And sometimes in the cotton wool fuzz, you think and understand things so clearly.

Kids are growing, changing sooooo quickly. Mishi is walking - a funny little shuffle, yet so confident and able. She understands everything that is happening around her, picking up on little moments and words and conversations. She is so cheeky, still - has a great little grin, scrunched up face. Also, she is already (well, still) a 'good girl'. She helps with packing up toys - which I know is as much her stage of wanting to put things in things, etc. She participates so much with what we do.

And, already, she is quite a demanding girl - knows her mind, and gets annoyed if she wants something that is taken from her, or not given to her. She wanders around the house now, contentedly (mostly) just busying herself with little games. She pulls clothes out of the (clean or dirty) washing baskets and wants to be dressed in crazy layers; last night she found some of Ari's undies and had to put them on over the pants. She likes to wear hats, and walks around with a little purse over her shoulder - her arm held high to keep it from slipping.

The house has been so messy for a week or so now, due to both Sam and me being zonked all the time! Piles of clean + dirty washing, piles of washing-up. Fluff piles building up in the corners of the rooms, scattering throughout all the floors. I wish I felt more energy to keep us tidy, as this mess slips or scampers or pushes into my essence, my mood is overwhelmed by too much dust. When our house is tidy I think and feel so much cleaner, crisper, better.

We are in the process of sorting out to sell our house. Heap of reasons why. It's going to be a long, slow process. I want it to happen so much quicker than it can. Before we really start any real selling process, we need to tidy and clear out all our 'stuff'. A friend told me today that she may be interested in buying our house. That's really good. Imagine if we didn't have to go through the thing of needing to have a real estate agent take their commission and us have to pay for all the advertising...... Anyway, we'll see.

Everything is so up in the air. Don't know where we want to live. Or where we will work, what we will do. Of course, we both want to be people who can work from home - but I don't see that as a reality. Maybe one day?

So, just a little catch up of a few things rambling through my mind - scattered thoughts = lines on a page.

I'll try to call you soon. Love. xxxxx

Also: do you mind if we make this blog open for other readers, or do you want it to stay private for us only?